My Life Be Like....

I'm never going to try being with someone again.I can't do it anymore.I refuse to.I set myself up for shit everytime I do.

Its like this.You know how women go to the parlor to get their eyebrows plucked?Similarly,I liken the guys I like to eyebrows.I like em,they grow on me and then BOOM!they get plucked out just as easily...LMAO!!

Now I'm just done.

LOST

What do you do when you're not sure of anything anymore?

When the pain is great enough to make you feel like crying all the time but you still plaster a smile on your face hoping no one will realise?

When you're not even sure why you cry anymore?

When you know you'll never feel safe again with anyone?

When you have a bad dream about the very same thing that's so clear,its almost as if it were happening right there and then?

When someone moves on without you or even lets you know?

When you know you'll never be able to talk about things to someone and actually feel comforted?

PORTUGAL,PORTUGAL!!!

Hello all!I'm back from an awesome vacation in Portugal!Its supposed to be one of the poorer countries of Europe but sure doesn't look like it!They have everything-history,modern stuff like malls,good roads n all-u name it,they have it!

Dad's friends made it a blast!You'd think that hanging around 60+ retirees would be a great big yawn but faaaaaaaaaar from it!They were an absolute scream and just about took us everywhere!Algarve(the holiday spot),Fatima,Obidos,Nazare(the holy places)..we went all over!We didn't make it north but that's ok coz there's always next time!

Algarve is beautiful!Everything is painted white and its soooooo clean..well everywhere we went was clean and people obey the laws and rules without questioning anything.Anyway,back to Algarve.At night the place comes alive.There are squares in the middle of the towns in that region which are close to the beach and there are open air discos and bars and restos,each one playing different kinds of music!It was awesome and we went all over the place!I even ate seafood rice which was a huge quantity!People in Portugal love to eat and everything is either boiled,fried,grilled or drowned in gravy!

Back in Lisbon,we visited the Expo' 98 area which has an oceanarium,planetarium,a huge ass mall called Vasco da Gama,the longest bridge in Portugal also named the same,an auditorium called Atlantic Pavilion and other places of interest.We even took a cable car ride!

Fatima,as always,is a beautiful place of faith where countless people come each day to pray and hope for a miracle.The bodies of Fransisco,Jacinta and Lucia,the 3 children to whom Our Lady appeared are buried there and there is also the Tree of Apparitions(the tree under which Our Lady appeared).Simply peaceful and beautiful and every year on the 13th of May which is the Feast,50 million visitors from all over the world arrive there to pay their respects to Mother Mary.

We went to Madeira,the birth place of the great footballer Cristiano Ronaldo.OMG!the place is sooooooooooo amazing!Its an island of hills and everything is built into the rock face.Roads are tunneled through the hills and they have 155 tunnels in Madeira.Their mountains are not the highest in the world but they are soooo pretty and when you drive through them,you drive through the clouds!!

I wanna go back to Portugal!!!Waaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!!!If I ever get a chance to go back,I will!

Boulevard Of Broken Dreams

I walk a lonely road
The only one that
I have ever known
Don't know where it goes
But It's only me and I walk alone

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of broken dreams
Where the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk a...

My shadow's only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish some one out there will find me
Till then I walk alone

Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ahhh-Ah
Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ah-Ah

I'm walking down the line
That divides me somewhere in my mind
On the border line of the edge
And where I walk alone

Read between the lines what's
Fucked up and everything's all right
Check my vital signs and know I'm still alive
And I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk a...

My shadow's only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
Till then I walk alone

Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ahhh-Ah
Ah-Ah Ah-Ah

I walk alone
I walk a...

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of broken dreams
When the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk a...

My shadow's only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
Till then I walk alone

You Named It Wat??????????????????:O

Mensus,Dollyfa,EuClit, hippolito,querubina,Climax,Petwin,Adorable, Assumption,Gladstone,Gleerose,Deryl,Erisso,Clephus,roosevelt, kennedy, washington,churchill,Delfa,Jolitan,DOYLA, JOLDRIN, DOYL, BLASSY...well you get the general drift eh???Just a few examples of the horror some people face when called out to.

One of my previous posts was about people,parents rather,who give their kids horrendous names that scar them for life!Que horror!I mean,why would someone do that to their flesh and blood????If my folks gave me a name like that,I'd commit suicide for sure..trust me on that!

The best place to find these names is the obituary pages of the newspapers.Especially Goan newspapers.LOL.And everytime its a new name,a new innovation,combination of two weird words.All that just to make up a name that is bound to give the child such a complex that he or she refuses to join the outside world!

A few of my personal favourites are:
Climax- as in "here comes General Climax,invader of the lands(non sexual of course...lol)"
Circumsisao
Marifa
Henceforth(oh this won's a doozy...apparently in St.Xaviers College,Mapusa...lmaooooooooo!!)
Wentworth(but only coz he's a hottie in Prison Break)

Do You Remember?

I was going to sleep last night.Oh I finished exams finally by the way.Hahaha.But I digress.Yes,my last thoughts before I fell asleep were of the days when I was in the 11th.My first attempt at hanging out with the opposite sex(lol)without there being any ulterior motive in making such friends.And it was an experience.

Those were the days when we were just 2 girls in a group of 15 guys.None of the guys had girlfriends back then and things were so much less complicated.Of course,its not that we didn't like one in particular(if you know what I mean).We did,but it was funny coz I liked a guy who had a major issue with girls.He tended to literally break out in a cold sweat everytime I said hi to him.Apparently he still has that problem but according to him it only extends to HOT girls(which explains why he has a girlfriend now but doesn't sweat when it comes to her-self explanatory.Haha).But that's another story.Safe to say I'm now over him and choose to harass him when I see him since he's such a 'dump'-ass(inside joke,that).Lol.

My friend fell for an asshole.Not that she's not fucked up at her end.But I'm not going to coninue on that track or I'll never finish since I have a lot of finger pointing and complaints on that score.But again,its not my story to tell.Whatever.

We had so much fun back then.Picnics,nites out at Kamaki's(KOKs we were-inside joke),every evening spent at the beach doing absolutely nothing but still managing to have some real fun.Now everyone's gone their separate ways and try as they might,its not the same at all.I miss those days and I'm sad that we'll never get them back coz now all we have is secrets,lies,conspiracies,politics and nothing real left.What you see is a complete illusion.

The Namesake

"The greatest journeys are the ones that bring you home."

The tagline of Mira Nair's The Namesake makes you ponder on that simple line.Its true you know.All of us search and search for some meaning in the things we do,some even believe that changing yourself on the outside and even on the inside to a certain extent,helps find that meaning.What none of us realise is that everything we need,everything that is important,is right here in front of us and we never need to GO in search of it.

One thing I have to say for us Indians,no matter where we go or what we do,a part of us always will always retain our culture.Even the fact that some Indians are complete junglis doesn't take that away.Its simply because they are being the only way they know how to be.Please take note that this is a reference to the ones that do things without any kind of malice and not the ones who deliberately make fools of themselves abroad.

How many times we condone people for not being themselves and trying so hard to conjure up personalities and appearences that are not their own.Yet it us who make them feel like they are not worth it.And at what cost?????

What's the point in moving abroad and losing yourself?I wouldn't want that for myself.At the end of the day I know it is my family and the cultures and values I have that will help me be a better person and keep me going for the rest of my life.Moving abroad to make something of yourself is fine but losing your identity and values isn't.Always remember that.

As a parting note,don't ever curse the name you were given or wish to change it.There is a reason you were given it,be it coz it was your grandmother's,it meant something in the language your family speaks or even if it came from a person you never knew.Its important and that's all that matters.

And finally you realise that the greatest journeys ARE the ones that bring you home and books help you travel without moving an inch.;)

Good night..:)

Nobody's Perfect

Everyone wants to be perfect.Doesn't surprise you one bit,does it?But unfortunately,nobody's perfect.There is no such thing as perfect perfection!Its all on the surface.Like,for example,I was standing in church this past Sunday and looking around(like I always do...lol)and I saw this girl who was dressed impeccably(well her clothes were at least).Not meaning to be rude here but when I looked at her face,I noticed she had buck teeth.So you see,even if something looks really good on the surface,there is still some thing wrong somewhere.

These days I have exam fever so mine seems to be down.I don't panic or stay up late or even lament about the amount of portion there is.Don't see the point.It only drives one crazy and then he or she ends up forgetting the matter that has already been studied.But yea,I hate exams.Like everyone else.

I guess that I've digressed as usual from whatever I meant to talk about.Guess I can never finish writing once I've started and then I jump to something else.LOL.

So the reason for keeping me sane is down for a short break.My best friend Vanessa.I miss that girl and her groundedness(???)so much when she's in B'lore.I don't feel a part of the group anymore and everyone's so full of secrets and group politics,I prefer to be by myself for the most part.Its sad really considering we were all so close once upon a time.Ah well,c'est la vie.

Wiping the Slate Clean

To Whomsoever it may concern and you know who you are.

In view of things that have recently come to light,I'd like to ask all those who have a problem with me and my attitude to come say it to my face instead of bitching self righteously behind my back like certain people with blogs on this very same site.To be fair,I never stooped to your name calling level.However,that can be arranged if and when necessary.

Also,to all the spineless wimps who I don't know from either Adam or Eve,stay out of things that don't concern you.You are irrelevant little pricks who I have no time for.However if you force me to be even nastier than already "complained and whined" about,I shall not be responsible for the consequences.Don't mess with me.This is a request.It can become something more if and when necessary.

Guess people think they have grown up but in reality,they are still whining like little babies.And remember,when you were asked nicely,you bitched some more and some more.So out came the banshee shrieks and the claws.

Don't ask me to be nice to you.Respect has to be earned not demanded and I never asked for respect from anyone.As for dominance,I may not have been an official student council member but I earned the right to be there more than you did.Without being self righteous that too.

But as I said,you are insignificant to me.I request you "nicely" to keep yourself and your kind away from me and my affairs.I'm done being "nice" to you.